Cover photo for Judith Ann "Judy" Dillingham Dillingham's Obituary
Judith Ann "Judy" Dillingham Dillingham Profile Photo

Judith Ann "Judy" Dillingham Dillingham

March 11, 1942 — February 22, 2022


Judith Ann "Judy" Dillingham Dillingham

BARNARDSVILLE – Judy Dillingham Dillingham, age 79, of Barnardsville died Tuesday, February 22, 2022, at her home.

Judy was born March 11, 1942, in Alexandria, VA to the late Ralph E. and Mildred Davis Dillingham. In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband, Hoyte Dillingham, to whom she was married 55 years, brothers, Buddy, Roger and Ronnie Dillingham.

Surviving are her daughters, Cheri Dillingham Bettilyon and husband Scott, Lisa Dillingham and Amy Dillingham Webb and husband, Justin; grandchildren, Alex Bettilyon and wife Jacqueline, Caroline Bettilyon, Taylor Lake, Bradley Hill and wife Kiana, and Carley Banks and husband Heath, and Maddey Webb; great grandchildren, Brylan, Hatley, Connor, Millie Kate, Waylon, Kayden, Cal and one on the way! Along with several nieces and nephews.

Her funeral service will be held at 2:30 p.m. Friday, February 25, 2022, in Dillingham Presbyterian Church, 16 Stoney Fork Road, Barnardsville. Rev. Richard Hicks and Ken Richards will officiate. Burial will follow in Lester Dillingham Cemetery.

The family will greet friends from 1:00 to 2:00 p.m., Friday at the church prior to the funeral.

The family requests that masks be worn for the services.

West Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.

The family wishes to express their appreciation for her caregivers, Lola, Maggie and Joyce.

Flowers are welcome or memorials may be made to Barnardsville Fire Department, PO Box 126, Barnardsville, NC 28709 or MemoryCare, 100 Far Horizons Lane, Asheville, NC 28803.

Following is a tribute by Ken Richards:

Will the circle be unbroken by and by, yes, by and by? In a better home awaiting in the sky, in the sky

The family circle for Judith Ann Dillingham began six generations ago when her ancestors Absalom and Rebecca (Foster) Dillingham settled into the Big Ivy tract around 1796. The township of Dillingham took on the family name.

Sharing this same legacy was the man whom Judy would marry, the late Hoyte Neal Dillingham. Their circle widened immediately as Absalom’s oldest son, Thomas F. opened a direct line of Hoyte’s lineage while Absalom’s youngest, Alfred, provided the line for Judy.

Thus when these Dillinghams married in December of 1960 their circle established five generations of kinship distance.

And now the circle has closed for Judy and Hoyte as they are with the parade of saints.

Judy was raised in the shadow of our nation’s capital. Growing up in this metropolis offered her the culture of the great museums in Washington, D.C. and a rich education. She was a graduate of Mt. Vernon High School in Alexandria, VA. At the same time she had mountain in her breeding from her Buncombe County-born father, Ralph and her mother Mildred Davis Dillingham.

At the same time Judy and cousin Sandy experienced adventure around the globe with visits to Australia, exploring the Greek Islands following Paul’s journeys as depicted in the New Testament, and other travels to the capitals of Europe. Yet, Judy never left the terrain of Big Ivy after she and Hoyte built their house on the original site of the old home place of Thomas Lester and Connie Dillingham.

For many years she operated the D&D Restaurant as part of their general store at Democrat, NC. She made certain the biscuits were ready and the coffee hot when the first cars pulled in around 5:00 in the morning.

Judy was fully committed to her community and continuously showed her loving and giving spirit. The Citizen-Times newspaper noted her as a “hometown Hero”…Hometown heros are people who do extraordinary things. Some of the things listed in her tribute were being the heart of the Buncombe County Resource Center in Big Ivy for more than 30 years, charter and sustaining member of the Big Ivy Historical Society, restoring and conserving the Henry Stevens Carson Cabin and development of the Big Ivy Community Center. She was involved in the Democratic Women’s Association for a long time. She was a girl scout leader for many years, touching many lives.

Above all she tended to her family. Daily, she cared for her widowed father who had relocated to Buncombe County and her brothers. She prepared meals for an aged aunt and was always serving those in need in the community. 

Judy and husband Hoyte raised their family in the Dillingham Presbyterian Church. The depth of their faith fortified daughters, Cherie, Lisa and Amy to follow Christ’s teachings of love and care. Thus, as their mother slipped into the world of hospice, they wrapped Judy in their mantle of care and they never left her side.

Throughout this past week a cardinal appeared in the yard. It fluttered to Judy’s window often and hovered nearby over her final days, as understood by the old timers…


For those who desire, condolences may be offered to the family under Judy’s obituary at

To order memorial trees or send flowers to the family in memory of Judith Ann "Judy" Dillingham Dillingham, please visit our flower store.

Past Services


Friday, February 25, 2022

1:00 - 2:00 pm (Eastern time)

Dillingham Presbyterian Church

16 Stoney Fork Rd, Barnardsville, NC 28709

Enter your phone number above to have directions sent via text. Standard text messaging rates apply.

Funeral Service

Friday, February 25, 2022

Starts at 2:30 pm (Eastern time)

Dillingham Presbyterian Church

16 Stoney Fork Rd, Barnardsville, NC 28709

Enter your phone number above to have directions sent via text. Standard text messaging rates apply.


Enter your phone number above to have directions sent via text. Standard text messaging rates apply.


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